3 on the 21st: Listening to Our Children’s Minds

On World Down Syndrome Day, a lot of attention goes to socks, selfies, and celebration. All absolutely wonderful.

Today, I also want to make space for something quieter: three questions that help us pay attention to our children’s minds, and to the stories we tell about them.

These questions are for any parent or caregiver of a child with Down syndrome. Share publicly below, if you would like, or jot some of the thoughts down to share with your child as a way to connect. You don’t need perfect words.

1. What do you wish people knew about your child’s mind?

Often people can guess their diagnosis and may make assumptions. But what do you wish others knew about your child’s way of thinking? Do they notice tiny details other people miss? Do they remember faces, routines, or songs with startling precision? Do they solve problems sideways, with a kind of creativity that doesn’t always show up on standardized tests?

You might wish people knew that your child is always trying to connect, even when their communication doesn’t look “typical.” Or that learning takes more time and repetition, but that when a concept clicks, it really sticks. Whatever comes to mind is worth noting.

2. What has surprised you most about their development?

Most of us started this journey with a long list of fears and stereotypes, many of them absorbed from the culture around us. Perhaps, instead, your first steps were influenced by that poem Welcome to Holland and you were able to embrace that vision.

In either case, the uniqueness of each child has probably challenged the picture you had.

Maybe they picked up reading, swimming, or using a device in a way you didn’t expect. Maybe their social intuition is far ahead of what anyone predicted. Maybe the surprise has been slower and quieter: a gradual shift in what you count as “progress” and what you now see as a strength.

What would you cite as most surprising?

3. What helps your child feel safe enough to learn?

All brains learn best when they feel safe, but this is especially true when a child’s nervous system already works hard to process sensory input, new environments, and social demands.“Safe enough to learn” might look like:

• Predictable routines and transitions.

• Visual supports or written checklists.

• Extra processing time before expecting a response.

• Movement breaks, sensory tools, or quiet corners.

• Familiar people who assume competence and speak respectfully.

Think about the moments when your child seems most open, curious, and engaged. What’s happening around them? Who is there? What is not there?

An Invitation to Join In

You can sit with these questions privately, talk through them with a partner, or write them in a journal. If you do want to share, I’d love to hear from you:

• Leave a comment with a sentence or two in response to one question.

• Or copy these three questions into your own post on socials, tag @brainwaves_and_chromosomes, and use #3onthe21st so others can find and learn from you.

You do not have to answer all three.Choose the one that tugs at you right now and start there.

Unfinished, imperfect, but real responses are completely welcome! The goal isn’t polish; it’s visibility and connection.

A Note About a Free Resource

If these questions stir up more than you'd like to admit in a comment—especially if they brush against grief, anger, or the sense of living a life you didn’t expect—you are not the only one. Alongside my more science‑focused work, I’ve also written a book specifically for Christian parents who are trying to make sense of that inner landscape.

It’s not about therapies or brain development. It’s about the quiet, often hidden work of processing this reality: the mixed feelings, the re‑shaped hopes, the ongoing work of loving your child and also reckoning with the story you thought you’d have.

To mark World Down Syndrome Day, the Kindle edition is free on Amazon for 3/21 only.

• If you are a Christian parent, you’re warmly invited to download it.

• If that’s not your context, you might still know someone—a friend, relative, or member of your community—for whom it could be a lifeline right now.

  
  

Feel free to share the link, forward this post, or simply tuck it away for when you meet a parent who needs to hear, “You’re not alone in how complicated this feels.”

However you mark World Down Syndrome Day this year—socks, celebrations, quiet reflection, or all of the above—I’m grateful you’re here, asking questions about your child’s mind and making the world a bit safer for them to be fully themselves as we all embrace curiosity….